No, cheeky, we are not going there.

But how about this for something to reflect on: a clean and tidy home is something you revere and intentionally create. Is the same true for your mind, or does it exist in a state of baseline-normal chaos and overwhelm? Does it all look rosey from the outside, but inside it's like a gang of rowdy toddlers have taken part in a baby-baking show and are now playing saucepans with metal spoons?

OUCH.

There’s a knack to organising the mind and it's wonderfully satisfying when it all falls into place. I call it ‘deb!tching your brain’.

In my world (I’m a twice certified NLP Master Practitioner, certified coach and EFT practitioner) I saw that the realm of self-dev was exceedingly earnest, and actually what it could do with, was a friendly kick up the bottom with a boot full of humour. We all learn more if we’re having fun while we do it.

Which is why I explain to clients there’s a radio station we all listen to called B!TCH FM - it’s curated just for us, full of all those classic and unihelp thoughts like ‘I can’t do this, I’m not enough of an expert’.

The problem with this radio station - with these thoughts - is that we BELIEVE THEM. Which is such a shame, because all they are is sentences in our brains, and yet they stop us from doing things as if they were never-ending brick walls stretching up as far as the eye can see.

Thoughts are not facts. They are simply fiction of the mind. If they are not serving us, we do not have to believe OR obey them.

Here’s some social proof: right now I am thinking the thought ‘ I’d like to make mad passionate love to Donald Trump.’ SEE! It’s in my mind BUT IT’S NOT TRUE!

What does the verb deb!tch mean? To raise awareness of and transform your relationship with your internal dialogue, so that you can live the life you truly want to live and not the one you believe you ‘should’. (Cue angel sighing sound effects)

The art of deb!tching yields fantastic results like:

• Prioritising yourself and not feeling guilty about it
• Radically accepting yourself AND your flaws
• Deepening your relationships and expanding your empathy 
• Getting to know the inner workings of your thoughts and emotions so your mind works for you, not against you. Nice and tidy.

HOW TO GET STARTED:

1. The more you can notice your thinking the better. Has your internal dialogue got a flavour to it? A style? Ideally you want to notice the pattern and label it - oh look, there’s my self-doubt b!tch (pick a name that resonates with you). What you’re aware of you can control, what you’re not aware of controls you! So get up in your grill and notice!
2. Always be curious. Most of us listen to and believe the noise swirling round our minds. YOU DO NOT HAVE TO. The next time you become aware of an unhelpful thought, ask ‘Is that really true? What else could it mean?’
3. Think on purpose. A bit like you’d choose your favourite song to dance to if you wanted to get yourself in a better mood - choose what you think. What thoughts would you intentionally programme your mind with? I know I certainly wouldn’t let the ol’ I’m not good enough’ classic run rife if I was programming the station. Would you?

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If you’d like to know more about deb!tching your brain, follow Jess on instagram, LinkedIn and download her free eBook - Your Brain and the cast og B!tches: A Rebel’s Guide to saying hell no to the status quo of unhelpful thoughts.