We all have a relationship with our possessions. Even the least sentimental man may have special feelings about his car, or fishing rod. It’s universal. We accumulate things that have use or meaning. And so long as they serve either of these functions all is well. But a change in life stage, circumstances, outlook or situation can bring sudden tensions between us and our things. It’s what James Wallman calls stuffocation.
When your life changes, your possessions act as an anchor to the past, holding you back. That’s particularly true when change is unwelcome and full of strong negative feelings – bereavement, separation or ageing for example. The things you have are no longer aligned to who you are, and can even be overwhelming. But often change itself can be positive, the kids spreading their wings and moving out leaving you more space, a longed-for retirement, a happy new relationship. Yet these too can still trigger tensions and unease with objects already accumulated.
It's difficult to move on surrounded by the same things. Yet we fear letting go of the stuff that’s been part of our life for so long. That can almost be a form of bereavement in itself. There’s a natural reluctance to discard things. Some of the most common feelings arise from:
Symbolic attachment – I wore it on my wedding day
Narrative attachment – I’ll regret it if I throw it away
Practical hesitation – I don’t know where to start.
The start point to any successful personal change lies in our imagination, whether it’s losing weight, changing career or becoming a grandparent. A resolve to change, even if you don’t know how, is the gateway. You can’t easily and comfortably adapt if you can’t imagine a changed you. So, start by picturing your ideal new life. Be realistic, but positive. How would you change your things? It’s unlikely you’ll imagine your new life surrounded by exactly what you have now. The process of letting go of things is often critical to the process of moving on to a new you, easing, encouraging and enabling the transition.
To move on doesn’t mean chucking out everything you have. You need to keep contact with your old life, and anchor the future with the good times gone. Keep and cherish things from your past you really value. By being highly selective the memories will be all the more positive. So here’s some ways to do just that.
Mementos of our past are often scattered around, stuffed in drawers or possibly the loft. Buy some highly quality storage boxes, the functional plastic box type or ideally ones of more decorate style and in keeping with your home. It might be good to have one for each era, growing up, university, motherhood and so on. By being selective your collections will be of the highest quality. Keep them on a shelf, not in the loft, and dive in whenever you feel the need.
Use frames to display pictures and collectables on your walls, perhaps make a collage. Beware of shrines, see it more as a springboard, not an invitation for continuous replay. Perhaps include things that signify it wasn’t all wonderful, so it not over sentimental, but reflects the real life you have lived.
There’s no need to clutter up your space but consider placing some carefully selected much loved objects where they can be seen. Look to pub theming for inspiration on how to do this – you’ll see memorabilia used to evoke the past – cameras, rugby balls, typewriters, really anything goes. Go to a craft shop and find suitable bases to stick things on and make stand out displays. Play around with positioning and rotate your displays. Just moving things around refreshes your home.
Don’t leave your photos, CDs or collected football programmes languish. Curate them. Give them life. That means sorting and safely storing in albums, racks and the like. Sorting through you’ll discover much that doesn’t make the cut – old blurred Instamatic snaps for example, and thinning out works to make what you keep much more precious.
But don’t dwell on the past, and most especially the negative aspects of the recent past. If you’re moving on make most of the changes about your future. So, if you’re planning to get fit don’t leave the fitness equipment languishing in the loft, bring it, literally, front of house. Clear enough of the old you stuff out to allow plenty of space for the new. Make a statement to yourself as much as to others. Make your home so it’s easy to live your new life. This is as much about having to hand the things you’ll need now, as it is discarding or relegating the things that were good before. And finally, almost everyone benefits from having fewer things in all.
Read more about the author here
Find out more about APDO
We all have a relationship with our possessions. Even the least sentimental man may have special feelings about his car, or fishing rod. It’s universal. We accumulate things that have use or meaning. And so long as they serve either of these functions all is well. But a change in life stage, circumstances, outlook or situation can bring sudden tensions between us and our things. It’s what James Wallman calls stuffocation.
When your life changes, your possessions act as an anchor to the past, holding you back. That’s particularly true when change is unwelcome and full of strong negative feelings – bereavement, separation or ageing for example. The things you have are no longer aligned to who you are, and can even be overwhelming. But often change itself can be positive, the kids spreading their wings and moving out leaving you more space, a longed-for retirement, a happy new relationship. Yet these too can still trigger tensions and unease with objects already accumulated.
It's difficult to move on surrounded by the same things. Yet we fear letting go of the stuff that’s been part of our life for so long. That can almost be a form of bereavement in itself. There’s a natural reluctance to discard things. Some of the most common feelings arise from:
Symbolic attachment – I wore it on my wedding day
Narrative attachment – I’ll regret it if I throw it away
Practical hesitation – I don’t know where to start.
The start point to any successful personal change lies in our imagination, whether it’s losing weight, changing career or becoming a grandparent. A resolve to change, even if you don’t know how, is the gateway. You can’t easily and comfortably adapt if you can’t imagine a changed you. So, start by picturing your ideal new life. Be realistic, but positive. How would you change your things? It’s unlikely you’ll imagine your new life surrounded by exactly what you have now. The process of letting go of things is often critical to the process of moving on to a new you, easing, encouraging and enabling the transition.
To move on doesn’t mean chucking out everything you have. You need to keep contact with your old life, and anchor the future with the good times gone. Keep and cherish things from your past you really value. By being highly selective the memories will be all the more positive. So here’s some ways to do just that.
Mementos of our past are often scattered around, stuffed in drawers or possibly the loft. Buy some highly quality storage boxes, the functional plastic box type or ideally ones of more decorate style and in keeping with your home. It might be good to have one for each era, growing up, university, motherhood and so on. By being selective your collections will be of the highest quality. Keep them on a shelf, not in the loft, and dive in whenever you feel the need.
Use frames to display pictures and collectables on your walls, perhaps make a collage. Beware of shrines, see it more as a springboard, not an invitation for continuous replay. Perhaps include things that signify it wasn’t all wonderful, so it not over sentimental, but reflects the real life you have lived.
There’s no need to clutter up your space but consider placing some carefully selected much loved objects where they can be seen. Look to pub theming for inspiration on how to do this – you’ll see memorabilia used to evoke the past – cameras, rugby balls, typewriters, really anything goes. Go to a craft shop and find suitable bases to stick things on and make stand out displays. Play around with positioning and rotate your displays. Just moving things around refreshes your home.
Don’t leave your photos, CDs or collected football programmes languish. Curate them. Give them life. That means sorting and safely storing in albums, racks and the like. Sorting through you’ll discover much that doesn’t make the cut – old blurred Instamatic snaps for example, and thinning out works to make what you keep much more precious.
But don’t dwell on the past, and most especially the negative aspects of the recent past. If you’re moving on make most of the changes about your future. So, if you’re planning to get fit don’t leave the fitness equipment languishing in the loft, bring it, literally, front of house. Clear enough of the old you stuff out to allow plenty of space for the new. Make a statement to yourself as much as to others. Make your home so it’s easy to live your new life. This is as much about having to hand the things you’ll need now, as it is discarding or relegating the things that were good before. And finally, almost everyone benefits from having fewer things in all.
Read more about the author here
Find out more about APDO
